Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

For anyone who hasn’t been hibernating, for the last few weeks, it’s been cold. Even here if sunny Florida, we got down to freezing, and I had ice on my car windows, ICE I tell you, that doesn’t happen, but it did. And so like any normal, rational, human being, I stayed cloistered up in my nice warm apartment, and only ventured out to go to daily mass, and even then I just quickly moved from my nice warm car to the church and back again. And so my daily routine of getting a few laps around the parking lot before mass got sidelined for warmth. No big deal I had my leg exerciser, I just worked extra hard using that. And as I envisioned I continued to lose weight and everything continued to work out fine, or at least that’s what I thought.

A couple of odd things happened which I felt I needed to document.

First I’ve always have had week knees, or at lest for the last 20 years or so, I’ve had a few slips and falls, and I swear that at one time something snapped, but when I went to the doctor’s he touched my knee and told me I was fat, I told him I was ugly too but what did that have to do with my knee. (Actually I didn’t really say that but I wanted to) I never really got an answer to what happened but occasionally, my legs will just give underneath me, especially if I’m exercising allot. And so yesterday my legs collapsed and I fell. No bid deal, I was near my car, I just crawled to it and was able to get myself up. A few scraps but nothing to bad, I should heal in a day or two, but it’s just something I have to live with, I know that when I exercise I will be more likely to fall than when I am not.

The second thing is more of a psychological problem that I have to deal with. Because I’ve been more reclusive for the last few weeks I’m finding that I don’t want to leave my bed again, shoot I can write from my bed, I can exercise from my bed, I can watch TV from my bed, I love living from my bed. But I’m finding it hard to motivate myself out of it again. (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts I live in a small studio like apartment and the only piece of furniture to sit on is my bed so it’s not as pathetic as you might think but my ass does get attached to it too easily) And now that the weather is getting nicer outside, I really should get out and enjoy some of the sunlight. This is my favorite time of the year in Florida, temperatures in the low 70’s, sunny, gorgeous, and I’m stuck here trying to convince myself to get out of this friggin bed. I was doing so well too, before the cold snap.

This is just something I have to work through, you know the old dance routine, two steps forward, one step back, but as long as you keep dancing, you will end up going forward again.

Peace had have a nice day, I hope the weather is getting better where ever you all are too!

FM