Obese Man for sale as Human Guinea Pig

I just spent 3 hours searching for a job that I haven’t applied for, and there’s nothing out there. I’ve been on unemployment for 2 months now, applied for hundreds of jobs, and the few interviews that I’ve had, well, people take a look at this, 450lbs, 54 year old male, and politely end the conversation quickly. And a little bit later I get an email saying the position has been filled.

I’m somewhat at lost as to where to go next, what path to follow. I remembered what T.S. Eliot once said "Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."

And so in the spirit of trail blazing I had an idea. Having worked with the mentally handicapped for the last eight years, I know that sometimes a person’s greatest deficit can often be there greatest asset, and what’s my greatest deficit? I’m Fat!

And I know that somewhere, someone, is out there, testing a new drug, developing a new exercise program, trying out a new surgical procedure. And so, I offer myself, an obese man for sale as human guinea pig.

I will make a 5 year commitment, to any program out there, I’ll go any where, do just about anything.

I’m an intelligent, creative individual, I have a degree in communication arts, and I’m well spoken. I’ve been an actor and performer, a writer and poet, a speaker and a journalist.

Maybe there’s a rich person out there who wants to change a persons life, or a manufacturer who wants’ to test out new products, I’m open to just about anything.

I know that the world wide web is a weird and wonderful place, but sometimes it feels like your dropping a message in a bottle and setting it out to sea. But in the hopes that this message will find, it’s way. I drop it into the sea of confusion, a sea if uncertainty.

Be now, my salvation from the darkness that surrounds me, in my desolation grant me, a hope for tomorrow, for surely I shall pass without the glimmering light your assistance. May peace follow you, and great you success in your endeavors, and thank you for your kindness.